Memorial Day in Recovery: Carrying the Weight, Choosing the Path

By: Alexander Walker

5/23/2025

Memorial Day can be heavy. It’s not just the cookouts and flag-waving for everyone. For veterans — especially those in recovery — the day can bring more questions than answers. You remember those you lost. You remember how you got here. And maybe, if you’re honest with yourself, you remember some things you wish you could forget.

Grief doesn’t schedule itself neatly on a calendar. For some, Memorial Day reopens a wound that never fully healed. The military taught you to suppress pain, to drive forward, to operate under pressure. But recovery is a different kind of war — one where silence is no longer a strength.

You’re not broken for feeling it.
You’ve carried burdens most people can’t see. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why this day affects you. Maybe you lost a friend in combat. Maybe you came home alive but didn’t feel whole. Maybe the things you did to cope — the pills, the bottles, the avoidance — almost took you out too.

But here you are. Still standing.

Recovery isn’t about forgetting. It’s about learning how to carry the memory without it crushing you.

If this Memorial Day hurts, that’s okay. But you’ve got options — and you’ve got the tools you didn’t have before.

Here’s what you can do:

1. Create Your Own Tribute

Honor those you’ve lost in a way that grounds you — not triggers you. Light a candle. Write a letter. Visit a quiet place. Say a name out loud. The world might be loud with parades and fireworks, but you can make space for reverence.

2. Lean Into Routine

Structure can save your day. Eat well. Move your body. Stick to your recovery rituals. You know what derails you — and this is not the weekend to test your limits.

3. Talk to Someone Who Gets It

Veterans in recovery speak a language the rest of the world doesn’t. Reach out to your sponsor, your group, your VA contact — whoever understands that Memorial Day means more than a discount at Home Depot.

4. Don’t Confuse Reflection with Regression

It’s okay to feel pain. It’s not okay to use that pain as permission to relapse. You’ve worked too hard to get here. Let the hard days remind you why you got clean — not why you should give up.

Memorial Day might always come with a lump in the throat. But you’ve got the strength to face it — not numb it. And every year you show up for yourself, you honor those who didn’t make it back.

Keep going.

Because you’re not just remembering the fallen.
You’re becoming someone worth remembering too.

For those who served. For those who still struggle. For those still standing.